I almost forgot that it was IWSG day! Oh geez, what insecurity should I pull out of my giant bag of insecurities? (There are so many to choose from.)
Okay, here's a big one.
What if it never happens?
What if I work at this my whole life and never ever get a book published? I would love to say that I love writing, and I'd be doing it either way, so I really don't care. Now, while the first part of that sentence is true, the last part isn't. I do care.
Plus, so many people know. They know I'm trying to do this, which means they'll all know if I fail. (Honestly, if I had never told anyone, then I really don't think I'd care as much if it never happened.)
Okay, so focus on what really matters. I'm a goal type person. (Which is kind of weird. I never actually realized this of myself until my sister pointed it out once.) So I like having a goal to work toward. Right now, publication. That's it. I haven't thought past that at all. (Seriously.) But I know that if I reach that goal another new goal will come up.
And if I don't reach that goal? Well, I have been lucky enough to reach my goals in life that really did matter to me. I have a lovely family, and being a mom was always my number one goal. (No matter how old-fashioned that makes me sound.) I love being a mom, and my kids think I'm pretty good at it, at least so far. :)
So, bottom line, I will continue to work toward my goal of getting published. But if it doesn't happen it's not like I will go to my death bead feeling like a failure. So I guess I'm okay with it after all.
ps. We are getting new carpet in our kids' bedroom, so we have a bunch of chaos and messiness in our house right now. In other words, it may take me awhile to get to everyone's posts, but I will!