I deal with critiques in two different areas of my life. Writing, obviously, but also in speech. At a meet the student speaks in three rounds. They have a different judge each round and each judge writes up a critique sheet for them, critiquing their performance.I have taught my students that these critiques are one person's opinion. We decide what advice to take and what to leave. Normally the judges give great advice and we use it to make the performance better. Sometimes they don't.
Last week one of my Humorous girls, (Humor is one of the categories) received a critique telling her she was monotone and overly sarcastic. We told her to ignore it. In fact, we told her the judge must be deaf, because she is far from monotone. She is hilarious! We also pointed out that no other judge has ever told her that, and that they have all told her she is very animated and talented.
I'm telling this story because I was glad I could point it out to myself recently when I received a very harsh critique on part of one of my manuscripts. Basically the person hated it. It bothered me at first, but then I reminded myself that it was the same ten pages that had gotten an agent to request a full and an editor to say she loved my voice.
It's all subjective. It's all personal opinion. Heck, I hated Eat, Pray, Love and most of the world loved it. So while critiques can be immensely helpful, and you (I) should think about what each one is saying, that doesn't mean you (I) have to listen to every single one.
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Oh, and ps. Of the sixteen kids I took to sub-sections, eleven placed and seven are going on to Sections on the 14th!
That's really good advice, for your students, for yourself, and for me. I have a problem with taking every comment as a personal attack. I get defensive first, then stubborn, then sad, then eventually I get to the place you're talking about, where I can remind myself that it's just one person's opinion. I also want to make everyone like what I write, so I try to accommodate everyone's critiques. It winds up kind of like that scene in Little Women where Jo can no longer recognize her MS because, in trying to make everyone happy, she turned it into a mess.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to your students! That's really excellent!
Thank you! I'm very excited for them.
DeleteI had forgotten about that in Little Women. :)
Excellent post. This is advice I can give to someone else easier than I can take myself. I used to take every line of critique as gospel, but I'm learning that's not the way. I think it's important to have your core crits and betas who are honest but who are like-minded. Then again, it's good to have someone who would do things very differently to challenge you. It's a fine line and hard to walk, but this advice really helps. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to your students! That's awesome!
Thank you!
DeleteAnd yes, it is definitely easier said than done. :)
I think it's healthy to remember that criticism is subjective. Bad critiques can ruin a perfectly great story :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Angela. Criticism is subjective, and you do a great job to mention that you really didn't like Eat, Pray, Love. I think people get lost in herd mentality sometimes and forget that one person could have just been having an off day, or he (the judge) could just not be into her style of humor. Kudos for telling her to ignore it.
ReplyDeleteCriticism is hard to take, but you are right that one person's opinion should not bring you down. It sucks that one of your talented girls got such a harsh critique, and that someone didn't like your MS. I'm glad you took something positive from it all, and congrats to your students! :D
ReplyDeleteGreat advice, Rachel! I have to remember this. If you go tailoring your writing to everyone's opinions it will end up a big ole' mess. You have to stay true to yourself and what you think is right for your. :D
ReplyDeleteWhen there are many opinions, throw out those at either end and what's left is usually the truth.
ReplyDeleteAnd that person that hated your work - well, what you wrote wasn't for her. I had to realize that with my books. Sometimes someone would pick it up when it really wasn't his style of read, which means big surprise when he didn't like it. It's all right because he isn't my target audience!
All the arts suffer with opinion rather than fact. It's easy to critique someone's calculations to get ten monkeys to the moon in a go-cart, because there's an actual answer. Luckily, we all like different things, so where someone dislikes your work, others will like it, and others still will love it!
ReplyDeleteI haven't had to deal with any tough/harsh criticism yet with my writing. If I do, hopefully I'll be able to not take it personally. And know that with ten people, you may have ten different opinions.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read/or seen Eat, Pray, Love. I've heard so much about it and it was built up so hugely, I'm a little leary, expecting a big disappointment. And that's kept me from reading it.
I haven't seen the movie, but we read it for our bookclub and none of us liked it! Which is funny, seeing as we were certainly the minority.
DeleteThanks for the reminder. Personally, I would much rather have honest criticism even if it is bad, than have sunshine blown at me. Sooner or later we have to face the truth about ourselves and our work. Better from someone we like and trust who can put us right, rather than a million rejection letter which come with no guidelines on how to improve.
ReplyDeleteGwynneth
http://todayinshenaya.blogspot.com
I do agree with you. And I do appreciate anyone who is willing to take the time to read my stuff and give their opinion. More often than not there is plenty of great advice, and there was some with this one as well. But overall, she just didn't like my style and I needed to remind myself that that's okay.
DeleteWhenever a newish writer asks me for advice (not that it happens all that often; I'm not exactly a wise old sage), one of the first things I tell them is that one of the most important tools for a writer's toolbox is a set of thick skin!
ReplyDeleteSo much of what we do involves exposing ourselves for the potentially harsh judgment of others, often strangers. Even after the critiquing stage, you're submitting to editors and agents blindly, crossing your fingers that they "get" you. On my blog, I once compared it to carefully undressing in your living room and then yanking the shades open. That's what it feels like sometimes!
But when you learn how to brush things off your shoulders (and which ones), you can grow so much as a writer by listening to feedback. Great post!
J.W.
This is awesome. I'm glad you told her to ignore it. I love the lessons we can learn from your students. It makes things easier to understand because I completely agree that she should ignore it. Keep up the awesome sharing. Your students are lucky to have you. :)
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteGood on you for seeing past the negative and focusing on the positive... that's what I'm talking about :)
Criticism can often be helpful but it's up to us to decide what advice to take and how to act on it.
ReplyDeleteGreat Post :)
ReplyDeleteYou've got to stay true to yourself - it's important to take advice, but not to always follow it to the letter.
Congrats, btw!
Great point about deciding which parts of a critique will help you reach what you're trying to achieve. We can't all love everything, right? And congrats to you and your students!!
ReplyDeleteVery sound advice, especially in the second paragraph about our power to decide what to listen to and incorporate.
ReplyDeleteWHat you say is so important for us to remember. We really have to learn to sift thru the feedback and take only what we need. ANd we certainly can't please everyone. I think a big part of writing is learning who our readers are gonna be... sometimes, they're who we least expect, but we have to cherish them.
ReplyDeleteGreat advice. It's a good reason to have more than one person critique your work.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a very valid point and one for all of us to remember. What we love in writing (and comedians) is completely subjective. Yes there are always things we can improve on, but not everyone will like our work and that doesn't mean it's no good. Thank you for the great reminder.
ReplyDeleteThis is an awesome story...I have a feeling your students adore you!!!
ReplyDeleteI disliked "Eat, Pray, Love" too. It was awful.
ReplyDeleteYou have the right attitude about critiques! I love 'em and hate 'em. They're a must for a writer.