Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Insecurities

I've joined The Insecure Writer's Support Group, which is an awesome place where writers are encouraged to check out other writers' blogs and leave encouragement for them. On the first Wednesday of the month we all post about our own insecurities. So here goes.

Some times I really wish I had never told anyone I was trying to do this. My mom, my husband, my siblings, my friends, it's a lot of people to look foolish in front of if it never happens. What if I keep writing and editing and submitting and I never get any interest?

I feel like everyone will think, 'really? You thought you could write a book? To write a book you need to be smart and interesting. No wonder this didn't happen for you."

Okay, yes, I realize that is not what my friends and family would actually think. . .I think. . .But it seems like it would have been safer to just keep it a secret from anyone I actually know personally.

How about you? Do you ever feel that way?

32 comments:

  1. Speaking as a person who has been there all I can say is to hang in there and don't let your worries bring you down. I have had many people over the years who have voiced that "really?" and I have their doubt in me as fuel to help push me forward.So move forward and hang in there.

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  2. I remember telling my careers advisor at school that I was going to be a writer. She told me it wasn't a proper job!

    If you write, you're a writer. Just as if you make your own chair, you're a carpenter.

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  3. Hi, new follower from Alex's blog. I think everyone feels this way. I remember when I "came out of the closet". It's terrifying at first but then slowly you begin to own it. You're a writer! Congratulations!! Tell the world!!!

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  4. I know it's hard, but try not to let those thoughts discourage you. After all, you have the courage to do something that most people just think about but don't put into action: you're following your dreams. Whether you succeed or fail is irrelevant. What matters is that you're going for it! That's something to admired :)

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  5. Sometimes it is a good incentive to tell the people around you. Hopefully they are supportive, but you have to keep doing what you love even if they aren't! Believe in yourself!

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  6. Thanks you guys! I'm so glad I joined the Insecure Writer's Support Group, it really is so supportive! You guys are awesome.
    Annalissa-Thanks, I'd never thought of it that way. :)

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  7. If you're passionate about it and believe in yourself you'll get through those barriers. I always think that people around me think I'm not a writer and will never get published! No one has voiced that to me but you feel it. This doesn't bring me down, in fact, it makes me all the more determined! Best Wishes for the New Year!

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  8. It's hard to let people know something like this. It's like telling them you've decided to drop out of high school to become a famous recording artist! But the best thing about this is that through all your hard work and efforts, your family and friends will support you no matter what. And the writing community is so HUGE! You'll get some major support there as well, to let you know that it isn't as unattainable as you thought :)

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  9. We're all our own harshest critics, aren't we? But if you're serious about writing, it will become a huge part of your life and a big part of who you are. Is that something to keep from friends and family? Sure, some people don't understand it, but you know that one day, you'll prove them wrong.

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  10. when i neared the end of writing my novel i started to tell people. scared me to death when they said they wanted to read it. what if they found out i was a horrible writer? then it was hard to tell anyone afterwards, same reason. i've moved and now i still can't seem to tell people i wrote a novel.

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  11. Well, then it's going to be so much more fun when you do get published and you get to see the disbelievers' jaws drop! haha. I bet you almost every author felt something similar in the beginning. What made them different is that they plowed on anyway. Thanks for sharing!

    Allison (Geek Banter)

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  12. It really helps to join a writers' group or attend a conference. Nearly everyone you meet has had the same feelings are you. Some of us still do.

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  13. Thanks again to everyone who stopped by and offered encouragment. It means a lot.
    I have been to the MN SCBWI conference a couple times. It's wonderful and I left feeling very inspired. However, I missed it this year after having another baby. (I figured a three-week-old wouldn't really be welcome.) ;) But I am looking forward to next year!

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  14. I love the idea of the Insecure Writer's Support Group. I feel insecurities about my own writing every day. But, I love doing it so much that I am going to keep trying. Last night I participated in my first Twitter Chat at the hashtag #kidlitPRchat. The topic was goal setting. Check out the tweets - lots of great ideas and thoughts about being confident in your work. Good luck!

    Eric (Happy Birthday Author)

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  15. Hi Rachel - just found you form the Mother Reader Comment Challenge so sorry I'm a day late commenting on your post, but yes! I have certainly felt this way! Ultimately, you've got to believe in yourself and do it for yourself and not worry what others think, but that is so much easier said than done! And then you get the people who tell you how easy writing is when you say you're a writer, and how they've got all kinds of ideas and they're going to be writers... Or the ones who respond with, "Oh really? What have you written that I would know?" It's nice to spend a little time with other writers who totally know how you feel :)

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  16. Oh my gosh, I totally feel this. Even if friends/family are supportive, they still ask how things are going and expect major publication stuff to happen right away.

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  17. We all feel this way, I know I still do (but I am an illustrator). The people who are successfully making books make it look so easy, I have to remind myself that we all have to start somewhere. It is a long road, but nice to know that there are a lot of great people supporting us as we make our way. And I can tell from reading your blog that you are plenty smart and interesting! Wishing you lots of luck in this bright New Year! :)

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  18. Of course. It's the elephant in the room sometimes; writing is so personal.

    But, if you love it and you never get published (I'm either, by the way), you are still doing what you love, right?

    Welcome to IWSG!

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  19. It took me a very long time to 'fess up to my deep dark secrets of writing children's novels. And then when I finally did, each time I talked about it, my face would flush deep scarlet. How embarrassing.

    Even though I still don't have anything to show for it, at some point, I tipped over the ledge, and fell into feeling like a real writer. Next, I'm working on feeling like an author. Which I imagine means publishing something. LOL. I have faith it will happen!

    It's so nice to meet you! (I'm over here from the comment challenge!)

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  20. Hi, Rachel -- I'm here from the comment challenge, as well, and I have to say that I think all of us who are as yet pre-published writers have a hard time telling people that we are WRITERS, because then we have to deal with the questions that Susanna mentioned. "What have you published?" "Um, nothing... yet." But it is so affirming to say "I'm a writer" rather than, "I'm trying to write" or "I want to be a writer." I now say, when people ask what I've published, "I'm getting closer to that goal every minute!"

    You are a writer. And every day that you work on your craft you are getting closer to being a published writer.

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  21. Since childhood, I've said that I would like to be a writer, and because of that, my dad put a lot of pressure on me to "write the great American novel." Now I don't write at all, and I often think it would be easier to get back into it if I didn't feel that his expectations and others' were weighing on me so heavily.

    I found your blog through the comment challenge - what a great post to stumble across!

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  22. Jesus said it 2000 years ago : a prophet gets no respect in his home town.

    When JK Rowling was writing the first Harry Potter novel in that coffee house, she looked just a simple single mother, frittering away her time on a silly children's book.

    Mark Twain said it, "You are a crank until you succeed." But you will never succeed if you give up. Oh, and you have a new follower - me!

    Come check out my Insecure Writer Support post if you have the time. It even has the ghost of Mark Twain in it -- and it begins with the ghost of Will Robers riding a bucking Aurora Borealis! How cool is that? Roland

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  23. I think it is hard to tell anyone that you are writing...because success is so varied for everyone...I have just met you but I already think younare brave and secure...

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  24. Katie, your comment made me sad. You should write what you want to write and (try to) not let the pressure get to you. Good luck, and I hope you start writing again soon. :)
    Nina, thanks so much. :) I know you probably have no idea who I am, but I know you! I met you at a MN SCBWI conference a couple years ago. I remembered the name because I thought your illustrations were so cute.
    Thanks everyone for the support. I am that much closer to being able to call myself a writer, and not just in my head. :)

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  25. I wrote my first 100 page novel when I was in sixth grade (I decided 100 sounded like the perfect stopping point!). I was so excited--I told everyone in the carpool on the way to my swimming lesson. The person who happened to be driving the carpool was a dad from the neighborhood and he laughed when I said I was going to get it published. I was devasted, and he should have known better, because he was the Assistant Superintendent of Schools! Once I got over the devastation, I got mad, which drove my ambition. I REALLY want to send him a copy of my first book and sign it, "Thanks for laughing..."
    Anyway--filter out the naysayers and keep going!

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  26. I thought you looked familiar (the photo of you is so tiny)! Well, nice to "meet" you again! Happy Writing and Happy Weekend! :)

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  27. Rachel - I'm working on it! I have a sort of New Year's Resolution to write for 30 minutes a day. So far, I've mostly just written little paragraphs to try different things, but it feels like progress. I'm trying to find the fun in it again.

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  28. Katie, that is great! Good luck!
    Annie, that's too bad. He should have known better. Sometimes it is hard not to laugh when we think kids are cute. :)

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  29. Those who aren't authors and writers never understand. But what's the saying? Better to have attempted and failed than never tried at all? And there's no failure if you don't quit.
    I'm glad I finally found your blog! Your icon in my Google Friends Connect box didn't lead to a blog. Now I have found you Rachel!

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  30. I'm glad you found me, too, Alex! Thanks for stopping by!

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  31. I like how the insecure writers group and the 2012 comment challenge are so in sync! And remember, it's the WRITING that makes you a writer. You can't control the timeline of when you get published, but you do control the writing!
    Namaste,
    Lee

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