tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post9050311466146626909..comments2024-03-27T00:28:59.452-07:00Comments on Writing on the Wall: Magic Eight BallRachel Schieffelbeinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-3277295193513308442012-07-14T07:24:36.174-07:002012-07-14T07:24:36.174-07:00Thanks for the link! That was very interesting. :)...Thanks for the link! That was very interesting. :)Rachel Schieffelbeinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-54654961642742629372012-07-13T15:11:06.923-07:002012-07-13T15:11:06.923-07:00This entire experience sounds interesting!This entire experience sounds interesting!https://booksthoughtsadventures.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12270725992084535102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-45114437994284158832012-07-13T13:31:10.149-07:002012-07-13T13:31:10.149-07:00Interesting topic because on Lee Child's wrote...Interesting topic because on Lee Child's wrote a thought-provoking article on the biggest writing myths. And you guessed it, show don't tell isn't always right. Maybe if you didn't notice the info dump it was because it didn't bother you. Anyway, here's the link to Child's article, which is pause for thought, definitely. <br /><br />http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/lee-child-debunks-the-biggest-writing-myths<br /><br />Almost forgot, happy IWSG.Joylene Nowell Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04497637513532136615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-9309753303167572942012-07-13T08:27:26.121-07:002012-07-13T08:27:26.121-07:00Thank you so much Melissa! Your critique was very ...Thank you so much Melissa! Your critique was very helpful! I really appreciate you taking the time to do that, you rock!Rachel Schieffelbeinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-19899828130743368392012-07-13T08:26:24.105-07:002012-07-13T08:26:24.105-07:00Thanks! The prologue is gone!Thanks! The prologue is gone!Rachel Schieffelbeinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-63990378837197786602012-07-13T08:25:29.361-07:002012-07-13T08:25:29.361-07:00Thanks Suzi! I am going to cut it. I've decide...Thanks Suzi! I am going to cut it. I've decided. Now I just need to go do it. . .<br />Looking forward to hearing yours! :)Rachel Schieffelbeinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-69829458776610475112012-07-13T07:55:36.346-07:002012-07-13T07:55:36.346-07:00Woohoo! You're doing Magic 8 Ball, too!!! :D
...Woohoo! You're doing Magic 8 Ball, too!!! :D<br /><br />I don't think it's dumpy, just needs some smoothing out. And two paragraphs is not worth a prologue. Just merge them into ch 1 and recount. Check your email. I sent my crit in a document for you. <br /><br />Keep up the good work! :)Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08516493326566981116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-637281211776213652012-07-12T17:41:19.105-07:002012-07-12T17:41:19.105-07:00I also agree that cutting the prologue would be be...I also agree that cutting the prologue would be beneficial. It really doesn't add much, and you could turn off a good number agents with just the word PROLOGUE. Why tempt fate?<br /><br />Aside from that, this is really pretty tight and a smooth read! :)DL Hammonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02007260062331783715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-42176741710657608572012-07-12T15:41:00.425-07:002012-07-12T15:41:00.425-07:00I'm on the side of cutting the prologue. I don...I'm on the side of cutting the prologue. I don't feel that it does much. I assume it's to give a taste of what they're going to go through, but on the back of the book, we'd probably know a little about what happens. And from what I've read myself, agents don't seem to like prologues. So unless it's very important, I would leave it off.<br /><br />That's my opinion at least.<br /><br />Thanks for the tag. I've been thinking more about titles for my WIP, so I might have to do this too.Suzihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16502606950280751205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-59013802950530383882012-07-12T14:34:49.974-07:002012-07-12T14:34:49.974-07:00That's really helpful, thanks!
See, I can'...That's really helpful, thanks!<br />See, I can't decide on whether to keep those first two paragraphs or not! I've had people like it, but I know I've read things saying not to do that! I think I need to just cowboy up and cut them. . .Rachel Schieffelbeinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-20151631234920480062012-07-12T13:55:08.773-07:002012-07-12T13:55:08.773-07:00This is a great excerpt, and a really great beginn...This is a great excerpt, and a really great beginning. I don't know if you need to start with the part about being on the library floor, but that's sort of a personal preference thing. A lot of books have a little excerpt from later in the book right at the beginning to give readers a taste, so it's not a big deal. <br /><br />I don't miss any "missing information," but I can tell you that you use the verb to have a couple times when you could nix it and get a slightly more tense feel to your words.<br /><br /><br />If you aren't interested in how I'd handle it, skip this part and know that I really like this opening.<br /><br />You use "had" three times in your first paragraph after the jump. I don't know if you're trying for Erwin coming into this scene after the fact, but it might be more jarring for Erwin to see it happening. I.E. Justin pushed Natalie up against the locker and she wrapped her fingers around his neck, etc. That's what I noticed. (And you heard the part where I said I liked it, right?)Renahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02767762370997304308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-51547622587279681942012-07-12T12:07:05.866-07:002012-07-12T12:07:05.866-07:00Thanks Jaybird! And thanks for tagging me in this!...Thanks Jaybird! And thanks for tagging me in this!Rachel Schieffelbeinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-66559475830366117192012-07-12T12:06:26.017-07:002012-07-12T12:06:26.017-07:00Thanks Cassie!
It wasn't a huge thing that I c...Thanks Cassie!<br />It wasn't a huge thing that I cut, which is why I don't think I realized it was 'a dump.' But it wasn't necessary. (Clearly!)Rachel Schieffelbeinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-73062190406066319832012-07-12T12:04:29.844-07:002012-07-12T12:04:29.844-07:00Thanks Kyra!Thanks Kyra!Rachel Schieffelbeinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-55520812660288094452012-07-12T06:30:36.723-07:002012-07-12T06:30:36.723-07:00Hi Rach- thanks for participating in this meme. OK...Hi Rach- thanks for participating in this meme. OK, so at no point did I loose interest. I enjoyed this. And I am just like Kyra, reminding everyone, I am no expert, just someone who reads A LOT. I liked the beginning, it just sets the fear/anticipation of what's to come.jaybirdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10708353376256621965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-46175163899105872522012-07-12T06:29:23.672-07:002012-07-12T06:29:23.672-07:00Oh I miss this story :) My hubby talks about it al...Oh I miss this story :) My hubby talks about it all the time! (Zombie nerd, lol.) <br /><br />You know, I didn't miss what you took out either, because I didn't notice it, lol. We get a good sense of Erwin and his surroundings right off the bat. :)Cassie Maehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17706774393186819619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-31303394585985905302012-07-12T05:38:37.182-07:002012-07-12T05:38:37.182-07:00I agree with Kyra. This is good!I agree with Kyra. This is good!Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06373650788799372118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878172058685455293.post-69212298482247435642012-07-12T05:08:52.770-07:002012-07-12T05:08:52.770-07:00I always like to make it clear that I'm no exp...I always like to make it clear that I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I really enjoyed it. It feels quite tight, and the action is quick to come in to play which I love!Kyra Lennonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13853462182450429660noreply@blogger.com